Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser makes the victim question their own memory, perception, or sanity. It’s a tactic often used in emotionally abusive relationships to exert control. Understanding gaslighting can help you recognize this behavior and seek help.
- How Gaslighting Works:
The abuser may repeatedly deny events or conversations ever happened, twist your words, or accuse you of being “too sensitive” or “crazy.” Over time, you begin to doubt your own reality and start relying on the abuser for a sense of what’s true.
- Common Tactics:
- Denial: The abuser insists that things you remember didn’t happen or happened differently.
- Lying: Even when confronted with proof, they lie to confuse you and keep you off balance.
- Blaming: They shift the blame onto you, making you feel responsible for the abuse.
- Effects of Gaslighting:
Victims of gaslighting may feel confused, anxious, and unable to make decisions. Over time, gaslighting can erode self-esteem and make you feel dependent on the abuser for validation.
- How to Protect Yourself:
- Document incidents: Keep a journal of events, conversations, and how they made you feel. This will help you trust your memory and provide evidence if needed.
- Trust your instincts: If something feels wrong, it probably is. Don’t ignore your gut feelings.
- Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. At Violence Free Futures, we offer support groups and counseling for survivors of emotional abuse.